He Has Not Given Me a Spirit of Fear

As part of my Christian Ministries major I am required to do a practicum with a Christian ministry this summer. For the past year or so I have been looking at different options but none have really stuck out. So I have been praying that God would show me just the right place for me to serve this summer. However, with what happened in Spain, part of me has wanted to stay in the area and serve so that I can stay home where I feel safe. I'm scared to go away again. I don't want to ever feel the way I did in Spain again. Thankfully, God has a way of pushing us and teaching us.

As many of you know I went to Peru over the summer on a short term missions trip with an organization called Big World Ventures. This trip was truly amazing! It taught me a lot about myself and a lot about God. Anyways, a little ways into my semester in Spain I was contacted by the head of Big World Ventures and was offered an intern position for the summer. I really liked the idea so I sent him the specifications the internship would have to meet to fulfill my practicum requirement. After that I didn't hear back for a while. I figured this was God telling me that I should be pursuing other options and I liked it because it meant that I may not have to go away from home.

So a couple of weeks ago I again asked the Lord for guidance for the summer. The next day I again hear from the head of Big World Ventures and he says we can meet the requirements and that I should really get going on getting this approved. I don't believe it was a coincidence that the day after I ask for guidance I was again contacted  by Big World Ventures. So I decided to take the next step and talk to my adviser and see if this is an option that I can work with. She said it sounds perfect.

During this whole time of pursuing this internship I have been afraid. I don't want to leave home again and I don't want to take risks. Thankfully, God has reminded me that he has not given me a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). I know God is calling me to a life of travel and I cannot respond to that call if I am afraid to leave home and step out of my comfort zone. So I have asked him to give me peace about going this summer and God has gone above and beyond. I am actually excited to go! Yes, part of me is still a bit apprehensive but I have decided to trust God. It's not easy but one thing I have learned is that the hardest things in life are often the most rewarding.

But Kailyn, where would you be going with this internship? What would you be doing? Well, this is the really exciting part! I will again be going to serve with Big World Ventures. This time as a leader and in not just one but four different countries! I will be serving the people of Costa Rica, Belize, Panama and South Africa! I am thrilled and excited to use the gifts God has given me to tell and show people his unbounded love for them. I ask for your prayers for me as I prepare to go serve but also please pray that God would prepare the hearts of those we meet. Finally, if you feel so led to give monetary support for my trip please email me at kailyn.kowolenko@gordon.edu so that I can give you an address at which to send the support.

This is me and Maricielo, a young girl I met in Peru who was an answer to prayer. God put her on my heart and she said I was her angel. I hope to touch and be touched again!