Transitioning

So I am officially back at the GC (aka Gordon College). Now most might think that I was thrilled to be going back after a year away, but to be honest I was more apprehensive than anything else. I was going to be "the new girl" who didn't know anyone on campus. Well, this was and still is quite true (though it seems to be getting slightly better). What I didn't expect were all the other emotions that were going to come with going back to campus and how God would be so real to me in my time of need.

The first few days in my new apartment I was terribly homesick, but God provided for me in that time. He sent my friend Anna over to comfort me. She came over when I was home alone so that I didn't have to feel alone. She listened to me as I cried and she understood probably better than anyone else the things I have been struggling with. Basically the first few days I cried a lot...

About half way through the week I had to face going back to school and also had to face my finals left over from the previous semester. This put an enormous amount of stress on me for a number of reasons. The first reason was of course just because it was the start of a new semester and everyone gets nervous on the first day of new classes. The second reason is that I couldn't study for these finals and therefore I felt very out of control and I know I couldn't do my best. But the third and most stressing thing was the fact that one of the papers I had to write was what I had been working on when Antonio committed suicide.

This, as one could imagine, brought up a lot of emotions and Thursday night I just got totally overwhelmed. I had a horrible stress headache and I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. Before I started the paper I decided I was going to do my devotional for the day. It's a good thing I did. The lesson was on a passage where Jesus heals many people of all different ailments and emotional ailments were listed among them. At this point I just cried out that I wanted Jesus to take the weight from my shoulders, I wanted to be healed too. In that moment I could feel him there with me. I cried (literally) for joy because the headache and the stress were gone. I could feel that great, big hug from Jesus and I could just hear him saying that I could do this.

I finished my finals and I finished the paper. Was it my best work? No. But I did it! As Jesus once said "It is finished" (I suppose it was in a slightly different context but that's how I felt when it was done). I was able to reward my hard work with a weekend at home. Now I am getting back into the swing of things, I'm keeping busy and that's good. I've got classes, babysitting, and Gospel Choir to keep me occupied. Despite the fact that I am transitioning I have no doubt that there will be other points in the near future when again I must cry out to Jesus to take that burden off my shoulders. But God is faithful so I know that I can do this! (with his help of course)